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Erin Franco

Beauty of the heart

Humble Handmaid

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2010 10 Feb

I am working on a talk I was asked to give for the St. Clare teen girls’ retreat this spring. Part of my talk is on learning to see yourself as God sees you, and the actions and ways of thinking that naturally come from that.

I always try include some kind of personal story when I give talks, and I found myself including some of my post-high school modeling experiences as well as the story of how Michael and I met. I thought I’d share a little with you. 🙂

When I graduated from high school, I received a special award from my classmates called the “SJA Award.” It was an award voted on by the senior class for a classmate whom they felt best exemplified the school ideals of the dignity, service, kindness and respect. I was absolutely surprised to win that award. I had no idea that anybody would even think of nominating me!

After graduating, I spent several months living and working as a model in New York. While I was there, I quickly realized that I was “nothing special.” Nobody I came in contact with—not my agent, not any of the clients I modeled for—looked past what I looked like. I was–to be cliche–just a pretty face.

I was doing a small fashion show one night when it really hit me that I missed feeling beautiful and loved for what I looked like inside.

At the show, which was “fairy” themed, I had on a dress made out of safety pins and thin, gauzy fabric. They put hair extensions in my hair and put more makeup on me than I’ve ever had on in my life. After the show, I was so tired that I ended up going home and not letting them take out my hair extensions and makeup for me. 
As I walked home that night, I was unnerved by how much attention I got on the subway and just walking down the street. I got a lot of male attention during the day because of the clothes I had to wear to casting calls (short skirts, tight shirts, high heels, you name it). 

That night, I felt like I must have had a sign on my back saying, “I’m available, please hit on me.” These were not gentleman awed by the beautiful creation of God they were seeing. They didn’t care or see that I might be a nice person. I once heard a seminarian explain that the best guys have lustful thoughts pop into their heads when they see a woman, but they immediately dismiss and reject those thoughts. He explained that the worst guys take those lustful thoughts and “run with them.” These were the kind of men who were looking at me and gleefully letting their thoughts run away.

I ended up quitting modeling and leaving New York for a lot of different reasons. One of those reasons was that I had made some new friends at LSU my freshman year that made me feel more beautiful than the most enthusiastic photographer or casting agent. Like my high school classmates, these friends saw my inner beauty and praised that.

There were some great guys in my group of friends who were really seeking to be holy men who viewed women in a very respectful way. I realized one day that I unconsciously dressed more modestly in front of these guys for some reason. I had never dated anyone before, and when I met these guys I knew that I wanted to date a guy like one of them, guys who were trying to not let their thoughts get away from them.

A friend of mine told me this quote: “A woman’s heart should be so lost in God that a man must go to God to find it.” I let that idea become a sort of motto for my life. I stopped feeling like I needed to get guys’ attention by how I looked, and I started trying to get to know God better and to grow in my faith.

During that time in my life is when I met my husband. Michael always tells me that he realized he was starting to fall in love with me during a campout with a bunch of friends (we met in 2006 when we both worked at a fabulous summer camp, Camp Kahdalea/Chosatonga). Four or five of us were sleeping under the stars together. He tells me that–while he had always thought I was beautiful–he couldn’t even see me in the dark, and that it was my heart and my personality that he realized he was falling in love with. 

When Michael told me this that summer, how could I have helped but to give him a chance? Finally. A guy who appreciated what I looked like on the inside more than what I looked like on the outside. 

Mr. and Mrs. Michael Franco
August 8, 2008
Me and my Prince Charming (well, we’re both charming most of the time… 🙂
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1 Comment · Last Updated: May 29, 2015

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  1. Katherine Anne says

    February 10, 2010 at 7:56 pm

    That story never gets old, Erin. It was great to see you this weekend!

    Reply

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Hi there!

I'm a south Louisiana girl, Catholic wife, writer, speaker, and mother of six. Since I started my blog way back in 2009, life has been a roller coaster of babies, plot twists and a plane crash or two. I've been chronicling things here as I've been learning to love and suffer and laugh and trust in the goodness of God in the ordinary and the extraordinary--with a little espresso and a lot of Divine Mercy. Read More…

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