A friend of mine sent me this poem by St. Teresa of Avila. I have read several poems of hers over the years, and her writing has time and time again struck a chord for me. She puts into words many things that go on in my heart, too. 🙂 I had to share this beautiful and honest reflection about praying bravely from a right-hearted place, but recognizing the weakness of your humanity all the while.
There are moments when I wish
I had a thousand lives to spend for God,
when no penance or suffering seems too severe.
And often when the opportunity occurs to act on these desires, they prove genuine.
But I cannot say that these desires stay with me,
for at times my soul turns coward
in the most trivial matters
and is too frightened
to undertake any work for God.
Has this not happened to you?
Sometimes I feel completely detached,
when I am in a moment of trial.
Yet the next day I discover
that I am quite attached to the very things
that I would have laughed at yesterday,
and I hardly recognize myself.
One day I am so full of courage
that I would do anything for God.
The next day I would not kill an ant
if I met the slightest opposition.
There are days when nothing anyone says disturbs me.
And yet there are also days
when a single word so devastates me
that I long to flee this world.
You, my God, know how it is.
Have pity on me.
Grant that I might accomplish
some of my dreams
for your greater honor and glory.
Spare me not completely.
For with your strength I can endure much;
without you I can do nothing.