Photo by FeatheredHatStudios (2015) via Pixabay, COO Public Domain. Image altered and text added by Erin Franco.
The lives of the saints are always a go-to for me when I’m going through seasons of suffering. They are the heroes and heroines I look up to.
I am no saint myself, nor an expert on how to suffer like one, but I’ve picked up some spiritual tips from the saints over the years that have helped me to be more proactive and steadfast in suffering. I hope that sharing a few things that have helped me may be a blessing to some of you.
{ 1 } The Chaplet of Divine Mercy
I have prayed the short Chaplet of Divine Mercy first introduced by St. Faustina many, many times over the past few years. My favorite part of the chaplet is its closing prayer. I pray even just that prayer every day at 3 p.m. (or during the three o’clock hour), which is the traditional time of Christ’s death on the cross.
Eternal Father, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase your mercy in us, that in difficult moments we may not despair or become despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to your holy will, which is love and mercy itself. Amen.
{ 2 } Spiritual reading
Regular spiritual reading puts good formation into our heads, which helps to guide our hearts. The Holy Spirit always seems to send me just the right book for the season I’m in. Here are just a few of the books that I have found helpful at different times in my life:
Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence
{ 3 } The Psalms
I joined the women’s Bible study at my parish last year when I happened to be going through a very difficult time in my life. We had been living with my parents with no end in sight for a year at that point, and I had also recently had a miscarriage. After I (re)discovered the Psalms through the study we did on them in that Bible study, they became a daily balm to my soul. I would get up every morning, tiptoe into the living room, and cling to God in prayer through the Psalms. And He would console me, helping me to gather myself together enough to serve my family and start my day.
Here are a few of my favorite Psalms for times of suffering:
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous; but the LORD delivers him out of them all. -Psalm 34:19
Trust in the LORD, and do good; so you will dwell in the land, and be nourished in safety. Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act. -Psalm 37:3-5
My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast! I will sing and make melody! -Psalm 57:7
{ 4 } St. Ignatius and the discernment of spirits
Learning about St. Ignatius Loyola’s writings on the discernment of spirits was a game changer for me. I was at a late evening mass by myself one Sunday (the kids were sick and Michael and I had to split masses to stay home with them), and in the homily the priest talked about an experience of “desolation” he had gone through. I had never heard that word used in a spiritual context before. What the priest described in his story as a “textbook desolation” exactly described my own feelings and situation at the time.
All of a sudden, I had spiritual flashing lights. I could feel adrenaline pumping through my veins. I knew I had to learn more.
I went home that night and stayed up late reading everything I could on desolation, consolation, what I learned was something called the “discernment of spirits.” I learned that “discernment of spirits” was a slightly weird-sounding term for:
…the interpretation of what St. Ignatius Loyola called the “motions of the soul.” These interior movements consist of thoughts, imaginings, emotions, inclinations, desires, feelings, repulsions, and attractions. Spiritual discernment of spirits involves becoming sensitive to these movements, reflecting on them, and understanding where they come from and where they lead us. (From IgnatianSpirituality.com)
When I saw my spiritual director the next week, I couldn’t wait to tell him what had happened. He suggested I read Fr. Timothy Gallagher’s The Discernment of Spirits: An Ignatian Guide to Everyday Living. I did. I began to learn practical, even methodical ways to intentionally be more recollected, proactive, and steadfast in my spiritual life.
{ 5 } Spiritual direction
Getting a spiritual director was another game changer for me. I had spent a long time telling myself that my problems were too small to bother a busy priest. But I got desperate.
I finally got up the courage to call a young priest in our diocese. I bit my nails down to the quick before I called him. And after our first meeting, I wept with relief and hope.
My spiritual director has helped me to heal, to hope, and to root out some things I was clinging to. I meet with him every few months, and the gift of his wise counsel and fatherly guiding presence is a great gift for me. He doesn’t let me whine, judge, or compare myself to others, and he calls me out on things I need to work on. Most importantly for me sometimes, he affirms me on things I’m doing right.
There is obviously no way that every single one of us can meet regularly with a spiritual director. There just aren’t enough priests or trained spiritual directors out there, for one, and then there’s the fact that a wide variety of factors can make the logistics of finding one you “click” with–and then sneaking away from work or family to meet with him–next to impossible.
One point I wanted to make though is that strong Christian friends and family can also filled the role of spiritual director to a large degree. That has certainly been true for me. Wherever you are in your life right now, it is a good prayer to ask that God would send you (in His timing) someone to help you carry your burdens, figure out what is going on with your heart, and pray with you and over you about it all.
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I don’t have all the answers where suffering is concerned. Not nearly. Please note that this post’s title promised to give readers five tips–rather than saying something like, “The Five Ways to Suffer Like a Saint.” Think of this post as an encouraging letter to you from a sister in Christ. My goal is simply to share a few of the things that have helped me in tough seasons.
Which saints are your favorite heroes and heroines? What devotions, books, habits or prayers have helped you through hard times?
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