• Nav Social Menu

    • Facebook
    • Instagram
  • About
  • Humble Handmaid
    • Substack
    • Archives
  • Speaking
  • Contact

Erin Franco

All dolled up, some tears (surprised?), and hero burnout

Marriage

Share
Pin
Post
Email
Print
2015 8 May

When Michael came in from work the other day, he first picked up one of his adoring fan girls and then walked over to me for my Hello, Honey peck on the lips. And then he did this thing where he kind of involuntarily reached out and touched my hair in the sweetest way. In a way that made me feel very nice indeed about how I looked.

A couple of minutes later, I reminded Michael in passing that I had to leave for a meeting after we got the kids in bed. (He hadn’t remembered.)

Me: “Didn’t you remember I had that tonight? That’s why I’m all dolled up.”

Michael: “Oh…OK.” (Obviously trying not to look disappointed. Or something.)


Me: “Well, so you thought I got dressed up like this just for you?”

Michael: “Well…yeah.” (Walks back into living room where the kids are.)

Enter me, suddenly all big fat boohoo sobs and warm tears rolling down my cheeks. (He didn’t see or hear this, though.) My sister Rivers was in front of the sink doing dishes (that angel). She strode over from across the kitchen.

Rivers: “What’s wrong?!”

Me: “I’m just being silly.” Boohooohooo. “I’m just emotional.” Boohoohoo.

Rivers: “Erin. Seriously, why are you crying!?”

Me: “Because…because…I look and feel so awful every day when he gets home lately and I never realized that he would like it so much if I was happy and looked pretty and did my hair for him when he gets home and I just can’t because I haven’t felt good for like three weeks now and he would never ever say anything about how messy and tired I look every evening with my gross old t-shirts and gym shorts and tennis shoes and hair in a bun on my head and…boohoohoo.


Rivers: “Erin.” (plus a thousand words)


Me: “I knooooooow!!!!”

I have been sick for a few weeks with terrible allergies and a sinus infection and at least two different colds. (Plus, ahem, it may or may not have been a more emotionally fragile time of the month for me.) My uniform this week has consisted mostly of stained old t-shirts and loose yoga pants, with a messy bun on my head and no makeup. I’ve just looked pretty much exactly like I’ve felt.

Michael has definitely been my hero these past few weeks. Pretty much all of the time he is at home he has stepped up helping with our extra-whiny kids and extra undone chores. I don’t blame him one bit for having a wee little bit of hero burnout. It must be exhausting to come home every day and have to be a hero taking care of a poor sick wife and teary children. I don’t blame him one bit for thinking that his wife looked like she was feeling better and had put herself together a little bit for him.

Yes, I know it’s silly and unrealistic to try to be perfectly put together when Michael gets home from work every day. But there’s a nugget of truth here. I don’t think it’s silly to sometimes make an intentional effort to look less tired and haggard than I feel. (I should clarify that “sometimes” refers only my normal end-of-day tired and haggard, not my sick-for-three-weeks tired and haggard.)

Here’s to hoping that the Lord has mercy on me and gets me over all this sickness business soon. And when I’m feeling better, here’s to a date with my straightener, my makeup bag, a pot of Mike’s favorite red beans and rice, and something-other-than-stretchy-black-pants.

In marriage, there’s everything sweet and nothing wrong with a little intentional loving.

Chalk drawing by me and Gianna. Photo by me.:)

 

Share
Pin
Post
Email
Print

Related

2 Comments · Last Updated: June 2, 2015

Previous Post: « Some cups get all the hype
Next Post: I had a lovely Mother’s Day (ducks, shoes, fried chicken!) »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Miranda says

    May 14, 2015 at 9:03 pm

    Erin, I love this. What great perspective! Michael sounds so much like my Sam, especially as I'm entering my 38th week of pregnancy. He has absolutely been my hero, as this pregnancy has been harder on me physically than the others. He doesn't ever complain and always offers to do more, but I do see that it wears on him. This post inspires me to put in extra effort this weekend for us time and to dote on him a bit. Thanks, love 🙂

    Miranda

    Reply
    • Erin Franco says

      May 18, 2015 at 1:42 am

      Miranda, so glad you liked this! I am sorry that I am just now seeing your comment…I've been so busy that poor HH has been getting pushed to the side;) Send me a note when you have your baby, okay?! So excited for you guys!;)

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Hi there!

I'm a south Louisiana girl, Catholic wife, writer, speaker, and mother of six. Since I started my blog way back in 2009, life has been a roller coaster of babies, plot twists and a plane crash or two. I've been chronicling things here as I've been learning to love and suffer and laugh and trust in the goodness of God in the ordinary and the extraordinary--with a little espresso and a lot of Divine Mercy. Read More…

Let’s Connect

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest

Browse Archives by Category

  • Book reviews
  • Domestic Church
  • Homeschooling
  • Humble Handmaid
  • Interior Life
  • Marriage
  • Motherhood
  • NFP
  • Podcast
  • Radio
  • Saints

Popular in the Archives

When we have to trust that a barn is best

Don’t Let Worrying about Miscarriage Steal Your Joy

How Domestic Church Changed My Marriage

The Top Humble Handmaid Posts of 2015

© 2025 · Erin Franco · Humble Handmaid · All Rights Reserved