Michael and I suffered a miscarriage this month. We named our baby Kolbe Joseph. We both think he was a boy.
I have also been pondering lately on what it means to be “pro-life.” A few days after finding out we had miscarried our baby, I had to stop by the Women’s New Life Center, which is located directly across the parking lot from the local abortion facility. 40 Days for Life is going on right now, and I happened to drive up on one of the busiest mornings of the week for the abortion facility. There were a couple of dozen people praying in front of the center, which had a full parking lot. I happened to have about 40 minutes of time I needed to waste before an appointment, so I unpacked my girls and we joined a group of students from LSU’s Students for Life.
I have taken my children to pray in front of abortion clinics before, but this morning was very different for me. As I prayed for each precious woman, couple and baby who walked in those doors, I thought about how much I had wanted my baby. I thought about how much my friends and family struggling with infertility want a baby. I thought about how many people I know wait months and years to adopt a child. My grief for the unborn and their parents, my sadness for our culture of selfishness and death, and my passion in prayer were more real and felt than before.
I also thought about the thousand different things that must come together for conception to even occur, and the thousand different things that must come together to sustain and bring a pregnancy to term. “Babies are a miracle” seems like such a cliché thing to say…but if each of us understand how much has to happen to conceive, grow and then deliver a healthy human being, I think we would all have more positive, life-affirming attitudes toward conception and pregnancy.
Finally, I thought about the dignity of each human life, from conception to natural death. Dignity is not something that we can be arbitrary about. We cannot award dignity only to those souls whose bodies happen to have developed correctly or to a certain stage. We cannot award dignity, sympathy and protection only to those souls who are wanted. Who was it that said, “It seems to me that the only people who are for abortion have been born”?
I am grateful for the family and friends whose ongoing love and support have given such dignity to us and to the tiny life we lost. Your kind words have been a blessing to me, and your prayers have been absolutely felt. It was also a comfort to me to enter our baby’s name into the Book of Life at the Church of the Holy Innocents in New York. This church’s beautiful ministry, free and open to all through their website, is to families of children who died before or at birth. A candle is kept burning constantly in the children’s memory, and on the first Monday of every month, a mass is said in honor of the children and for the comfort of their families.
I am thankful for this little one whose short life has drawn me closer to my Father and to my husband, and has given me a greater depth of love for the unborn.
Baby Kolbe Joseph, pray for us!