It’s time for me to be completely honest, faithful readers.
For lack of a more elegant description, motherhood is seriously kicking my butt.
I believe am currently suffering from an exhausting mixture of classic Baby Blues, entirely too much holiday company, a foolish-but-gosh-darn-it real psychological need to keep my surroundings somewhat in order, and the realization that–other than changing diapers, cuddling and rudimentary nursing–I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.
Maybe it’s just my current state of exhaustion talking, but I don’t feel like a “natural” at mothering at all. At least I’m not supposed to be teaching my son morals or geometry yet.
I’m not all tiredness and disillusion, though.
Gabriel and I had a bonding moment this morning after I gave him a bath. We were both wide awake (at the same time, which doesn’t happen a lot!) and we just stared into each other’s eyes for several minutes. A quiet and simple moment, but a special one.
As a woman who is on the verge of marriage, and has always known that motherhood is on the horizon for me quickly, I understand. It's a big deal and you want to do it right! But take heart, my sister! You are God's handmaid, and your child is your gift. No one is perfect, but all things are perfected in Him. Be comforted in that!