God will never withhold the grace I need to do His will. It’s just a fact. It’s going to be there.
But God’s grace isn’t going to magically make my feet keep walking or my mouth close or my hands keep doing dishes without slamming things around because I’m irritated with my husband about something. 🙂
I think it’s more a matter of His grace softening my heart, calming my soul, and fortifying my mind just enough that, somewhere in me, I can say that terrifically difficult “yes” in one particular moment.
I will confess that one such particular moment today was this evening. I was trying to get out the door to go work at a coffee shop after the kids went down for bed, but Gabriel kept insisting that he had to go poo-poo, and that I was the only person in the whole wide world he wanted in the bathroom to cheer him on. (We’re potty training and he still hasn’t gone Number Two in the potty, so we’re trying to indulge him a little until we (wishful thinking here) get him to let out that First Magic Poo that gets him over this last hump of training.)
My to-do work list tonight was long. I was feeling seven months pregnant and was having too many Braxton-Hicks. My time was already cut shorter than expected due to a late arrival home from dinner and a couple of wild-but-adorable kids hyped up on the sprinkle cupcakes that were served for dessert.
And by golly, after nine days of potty training so far, I was so ready for this kid to POOP ON THE POTTY. New, first-time-potty-training mom that I am.
Somehow I didn’t lose my temper. Gabe didn’t poop on the potty, but he went to bed cheerfully after four or so urgent trips to the bathroom. I didn’t make it out the house to the coffee shop, but did find time tonight to work on some marketing projects, prepare a little for the radio show tomorrow, and also post this rambly blog.
At a time when I’ve been dealing with a very painful personal situation lately, I am so glad–and profoundly humbled–to be writing about working to let God’s grace in on the small stuff. Keep me open to you, Lord, that I might see your will, that I might love your will, that I might be faithful in the small things and the big things you ask of me!