I’ve been wondering all week how to go about starting to blog about my entry into the noble ranks of stay-at-home-moms. This week was my last week of work.
Tuesday, May 31, is my last day working part-time for the wonderful public relations firm I’ve worked with since I moved to Houston two years ago. It’s funny how I ended up in PR. I studied mass communications and concentrated in advertising (of all things:) at LSU, and when I moved to Houston it was old-fashioned telephone calls, networking, and undoubtedly some Heavenly orchestration that got me a job at my firm. I’ve acquired many skills, experiences and contacts that will serve me–and help me serve others–in some special ways. I can already see that, and I know that working where I did and for as long as I did was part of God’s plan for my life so far.
I don’t think I’ve done too many “shout outs” for advice before, but I’d love to invite any mom readers (or anyone with some timeless wisdom to share) to post a comment with a tip or two for me on transitioning to being home full-time. My only stipulations is that I’d love to hear positive advice and tips. In return, I promise that Humble Handmaid will stay updated with all of my thoughts and adventures and challenges as my family and I make this transition.
Considering that–aside from losing the income from my job–I’m just about into my third trimester of pregnancy, have a toddler already, am starting a new business with my husband, and am on your Typical Young Family Budget, this should be an adventure for sure!
I feel this amazing fierceness in my heart these days. Side by side with peace, of all things. I know I’m in for an incredible year. And a challenging year, in some ways I can already see and am already experiencing. But I’m ready for it!
Well, me + the grace of God are ready for it.
When the going has been tough lately, and all I’ve wanted to do is order pizza, watch Jane Austen movies, and kick all babies and husbands out of the house, in the moment my desperate, feeble little prayers have brought down mighty grace for me just when I need it. The Holy Spirit has gently put things back into perspective, helped me put a smile back on my face, and keep going. God is good, all the time.
And now to bed.
BUT before I go to bed…I actually have to show you this picture of the AMAZING hot fudge brownie sundae I ate today when my coworkers took my out to Another Time Soda Fountain and then antique shopping for my “sending off” trip. We had such a lovely day! 🙂 Another Time is one of our clients, and I have loved working on their account. Mostly because they are such nice people to work with, but also because it’s not the hardest thing in the world to get people interested in visiting a place that makes hand-mixed sodas and milk shakes, 1lb banana splits, delicious hamburgers and salads, and this:
I make sure I get outside everyday. The sunshine makes me a better person and lifts E's spirits too 🙂 Not to mention the great exercise that doesn't really feel like exercise. We go for (long and short) walks and go water the garden and pick herbs to have with dinner. Sometimes we go sit on the porch and read books. I don't always have the car (although I think you're a two car family again?) but when I do I actually try NOT to go to places like Target where I'm likely to find exactly 10.5 things that weren't on my list but I've temporarily convinced myself I need to have. I like to go places that are free, like the library, where I check out books to read to her and several books for me to read.
Maintain your prayer and social lives – it can be easy to lose your mind when you A) don't make time for prayer and B) don't get yourself out of the house to visit friends or Target … or friends at Target 🙂 Falling apart or behind in either of these realms leaves husband and child(ren) stressed and anxious b/c suddenly they have to carry the self-imposed burdens of the wife/momma.
Wow! Thanks so much everyone! Please keep commenting. I appreciate this so much. 🙂
Believe it or not, one of the hardest aspects of become a SAHM is peer pressure. When you meet new people, the first thing you're asked is "What do you do?" It's as though what you do is what your identity is. It's not, and I think you have that well in hand, Erin. You are a beautiful, loving child of God first and foremost, which is something no one can take away from you and no circumstance can change. The second way peer pressure affected me, to my regret, is in how I homeschooled Daniel. Instead of worrying about standardized tests and whether we're covering the same material as the school system, instill a love of learning and especially, a love of reading in your children. Stressing out over their work is certain to shut down any love of learning. Don't put any expectations on them, but rather look for creative ways to explain things, and purpose to make everything if not outright fun, then at least pleasant and relaxed. Look for their strengths and praise them for every effort. It's so easy to focus on what needs to be corrected, rather than what can be praised.
Lastly, plan your day, but keep your mindset VERY flexible. Children are notorious for crashing the best laid plans (as I'm sure you've found out). Be quick to apologize to your child if you lose your temper. Teach them by example to say "I was wrong for…Would you forgive me?" versus "I'm sorry," which means nothing and doesn't restore the relationship. Teach Gabriel how to cook. Daniel was flipping pancakes at 4. It's a great way to teach them all kinds of things, from learning how to measure, to being careful around a hot stove, as well as having fun at home together, albeit with usually much more mess to clean up :).
You are going to be a great SAHM! The hardest part of transitioning from working
to being home is finding ways to keep the little one (and yourself) busy… And
maybe it's just me, but somehow I had these grandiose plans to be super
productive at home and have a structured day for Ellie, but none of that ever
happened–between playdates, playing at home, errands, chores, outings, we have
a loose routine (staying flexible) that works for us and mostly fills our days.
Now I wonder how I managed to work a job AND care for my family and home… All
that to say that you already have one of the most helpful and hardest to find
resources: a group of SAHMs to talk with, get together for playdates, and
support you.
A few random tips:
-Space City Parent magazine (it's free) has great ideas on things to do each
month. You can get a copy at the library near the beginning of each month. Also the library has morning storytime
programs for little ones (Book Babies M/T/W 10:15am or Toddler Time M/T/W 11:15… get there 30 min. early because they hand out tickets to get in and they run out fast!). It's a great place to meet other moms and grow your
playgroup… And have fun with your kid. Even going when there isn't storytime (or if you don't make it in time for tickets) is fun because there are plenty of things for little ones to do in the children's section… toys, puzzles, coloring, books, puppets etc.
-Take time for yourself. I joined the YMCA (there's childcare) to work on taking
care of myself. A healthy mama is a better mama. I also have one "off" night a
week where I go to my knitting group while Paul and Ellie get special
daddy-daughter time (and I get to feel like an adult for a few hours). We all look forward to those nights!
-There are also lots of websites and blogs you can read that have great free
resources/activities/printables/ideas of fun crafts and games to play with
toddlers–and preschoolers, for when G gets older:
http://www.preschoolexpress.com/toddler_station.shtml
http://catholicicing.blogspot.com/
http://1plus1plus1equals1.blogspot.com/
http://scienceforpreschoolers.com/
(These are all actually sites that Lauren Honeycutt sent me… yay for mommy friends!)
I think that's everything I wish I had known when I stopped working to stay home
with my munchkin.
You'll do great. You being home is a huge blessing for your family. 🙂
The first few weeks will be antsy ones (they still are for me) I find it difficult not to pack the kids up in the car and make up a list for Target just to get out of the house.
Also- playdates, which are really for moms.
Make a few weekly commitments. I was doing a weekly lunch with 2 other SAHM friends and it was really nice to get together, casually, eat at each other's house (practically free) and visit and share stories from the week. It didn't matter if our babies cried or it was time to nurse or nap. We usually spent from about 11 to 3 together and sometimes those days spawned other outting ideas for us. I definitely miss my friends in LC especially on lunch days!
I've also discovered the joy of the library story time. I'm guessing every library does it, and the infant story time in Katy is spectacular! Books, toys, singing, nursery rhymes and lots of other moms and babies.
Especially starting off with a newborn, I thought my life was over and I'd never get out again, but finding other moms in the same situation made it much easier and made me realize my life wasn't over, just different for a time.