We are all waiting on something.
Maybe you’re waiting to find a spouse, a job you actually love, good health, financial security, or a baby. Or maybe you’re like me, and you’ve been waiting for a long time to have a home of your own again.
Michael and I are nearing two years of living with my parents, with our three young children in tow. To make a long story short, we finally reached a point recently when we were able to start seriously looking for a home of our own again. We know a little something about making an idol out of something you’re waiting on.
I realized recently that I was struggling with idolizing my future house. After all that we’ve been through, I have found myself too often thinking that having a home again will fix all of our problems. I have also found myself passing up on seeing houses about which my first thought was, “I haven’t been waiting two years for that.”
It’s a hard truth that the perfection of God’s plan doesn’t mean it will look like perfection to us. In my weaker moments, I hope so much that He will suddenly dazzle us with dropping the home of our dreams into our laps. He may do that. I’ve let Him know that He most definitely has my permission. But whatever house He has in mind for us will be perfect as-is. It will be the best thing possible for me and my family’s souls as-is. Even if we don’t buy a mansion. Even if we buy a house that’s less than pretty, or less than granite-countertopped and big-yarded and perfect neighborhood-ed.
Sometimes in hindsight, God gives us little glimpses of the tapestry of grace He is weaving in our lives. Ten months ago, I thought what was best for me was that I would have a newborn baby in my arms right now. That wasn’t in the Plan, though. Instead, I am laboring to give birth to a different kind of baby: I am launching a podcast in two weeks. Not only that, but I also recently re-launched my blog with a beautiful makeover, and I am working on two book projects. I would not be doing any of those things if my little one were here. Not to mention that I also wouldn’t have a home to bring him home to.
God’s ways are so far above our ways, and his thoughts above our thoughts. We can only guess, trust, and spend time in recollection ever so often to catch a glimpse of His artistry. If we believe that we were loved to the death by Christ, then we must believe that His plan for us is best for us. While God’s plans for us often involve blessing others, the thing about God is that all of His actions have the salvation of at least one soul in mind: ours.
I pray the closing prayer of the Chaplet of Divine Mercy every day at 3pm–the traditional time of Christ’s death on Good Friday. I want to share this prayer again with you in hopes that it may be as much as a spiritual treasure and tool for some of you as it has been for me these past couple of years.
Eternal Father, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us, and increase Your mercy in us, that in difficult moments we may not despair or become despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is love and mercy itself. Amen.